Once again, someone was commenting on our close relationship and how Nels and I can work together and be together all the time. We really enjoy each others company, and each of us has a respect for the other. One thing that I think really made a difference in our relationship is that we talked about the big things from the beginning. Early in our relationship we discussed if we wanted children, where we wanted to live, and what we were looking for in a relationship. I also let Nels know that I wanted to have property and horses. Fortunately we were on the same page! No one had to change or compromise. Being young and flexible gave us an opportunity to grow together. We both love to try new things, learn and help people.
We often hear “relationships take a lot of work.” Do they? We’ve been together for 20 years and have never experienced this. Perhaps people have the wrong perception. After all everything is defined by our perception. A 50th birthday to one person can be a great mile stone and reason to celebrate. Someone else could be dreading it. The event is exactly the same, just the perception is different. Think about buying a new pair of shoes. You buy them for some specific reason, maybe for running. You go try on several pairs. Certain things will matter to you more than others. It could be the fit, the color, the price, the brand etc… Bottom line, they better fit when you leave the store! If the shoes doesn’t fit and isn’t comfortable from the get go it never will be! If you have to “break them in” forget it! This is a lot like a relationship. If it doesn’t fit from the beginning chances are it won’t get any better!
I am not an expert in relationships, I can only talk from my experience and some limited education I have had on the subject.